The ABC method for a real coaching session

If you nailed your session zero and your coachee says "I'm sold, now help me," the next move is a real coaching session built on three steps. This guide walks you through the ABC of coaching, a simple framework any aspiring coach can use to lead a focused, engaging conversation that puts the coachee at the center.

A coaching session is a back and forth of ideas, a dialogue between coach and coachee. And here is the part people get wrong: the coach is not the person handing out recommendations. The coach is a trained expert who asks the right questions, but the answers belong to the coachee.

What does the ABC of coaching actually stand for?

The whole method fits into three letters, and each one moves the conversation forward:

• A means assess the challenge.
• B means brainstorm alternatives.
• C means craft a solution.

That is it. Three steps that turn a vague "I need help" into a concrete plan the coachee owns.

What is the ABC of coaching? It is a three-step method: assess the challenge, brainstorm alternatives, and craft a solution. The coach asks questions, but the coachee provides the answers and owns the outcome.

How do you assess the challenge in step A?

The first job is to help the coachee name the real problem. In the example from the session, someone gets nervous every time they need to negotiate or discuss something [00:57]. The coach listens and reframes it as conflict management.

The coachee feels trapped and nervous, convinced they will lose. That feeling of being stuck is the challenge. You are not solving anything yet, you are just getting clear on what hurts.

How do you brainstorm alternatives without leading too much?

Once the challenge is clear, you move to step B and open up the field of ideas. A great trick here is talking about the extremes first.

One extreme: never tackle any conflict because you will always lose. The other extreme: always get your way, never take no for an answer, and destroy every relationship you have [02:24]. Both sound ridiculous, and that is the point. They open space for realistic options in between.

In the session, the coachee starts generating ideas on their own:

• State the common ground with the other person.
• Acknowledge how much you need the other person's help.
• Prepare better for the conflict or negotiation.

Notice who is doing the work. The coachee leads the brainstorm, and the coach only takes notes and nudges. If your coachee gets stuck, you can offer one or two ideas, but that is all. Let them speak freely, do not judge, and aim for volume: ten ideas, even a dozen.

Who should lead the brainstorm, the coach or the coachee? The coachee leads. The coach may add one or two ideas if the coachee gets stuck, but the goal is for the coachee to generate ten or a dozen options themselves.

How do you craft a solution together in step C?

When the brainstorm is done, you build the solution together [04:03]. This is where your experience as a coach helps, but the final choice still belongs to the coachee.

You ask which idea would be easiest to start with. In the example, the coachee picks preparing better before a negotiation. Now the coach can offer a couple of prompters, like balancing your power or listening empathetically [04:36].

Then you keep going. The coachee adds the win-win mentality: the right mindset is not win-lose, but doing what you need to do so both people get what they need [04:51]. That reframe becomes part of the solution.

Why does the coachee own the solution and not the coach?

Because a solution the coachee builds is a solution they will actually try. At the end of the session, the coach asks the coachee to practice for the next three to four weeks, preparing and applying the win-win mentality in real negotiations [05:29].

When you follow the three steps, the conversation becomes exciting, engaging, and focused on your coachee. And here is the payoff: the coachee feels important and feels they are learning a lot. That is what keeps them coming back.

What is the challenge to practice the ABC method?

Now it is your turn. Find one person you trust, someone you love and feel safe with, who could benefit from your coaching. Tell them honestly: "I am practicing to become a professional coach. Would you like some sessions with me?"

Then sit down and do the work:

1. Ask what challenges they have.
2. Build an ABC structured session together.
3. Let them come up with ideas to help themselves.

That is how you structure a real coaching session. Try it, and share your findings in the comments section. Go and amaze the world.